Friday, July 27, 2012

Celebrate Your Courage



Imagine waking up every morning, and having to face the reality of yet another day filled with nausea and pain, and knowing that there is little or nothing your medical doctor can do to cure your illness and remove the suffering from your life. I am talking about a misery that is so severe that you are driven to tears of frustration, hopelessness, and even thoughts of suicide. I am talking about misery that is so chronic in nature, that it has robbed you of the ability to earn a living, to enjoy a normal social life, to go to church on a regular bases, to manage even the most simple daily tasks and responsibilities.

My name is Barbara Engle, and I have been living with chronic pain and chronic nausea associated with Lupus, which resulted in my developing Gastroduodenal Crohn's Disease/Gastroparesis since I was a child. I have lived with chronic pain associated with Fibromyalgia for the last twelve years. At this time in my life there is no medically planned therapy, no guaranteed surgery that will insure that I will live the rest of my life pain and misery free.

But I am not unique in any way! Many Christians and non-Christians alike awake each morning with that reality of facing another day of battling with a chronic illness or pain, and knowing that there is very little their physician can do about it. As a result, they most face each day as a challenge in order to live their lives to its fullest.

The challenge of living with chronic illness , even one as serious as Gastroparesis isn't always apparent when you're first diagnosed. This is just the beginning. It takes time to understand your illness, the treatment options available, and how living with illness will affect your life and the lives of your partner and family.

Being sick is like being on a an emotional roller coaster -- you can be up and hopeful one minute and down and doubtful the next. Your illness can take unexpected and unpredictable turns. One disease can dispose you to or give rise to another. This can be frightening as well as exasperating. Finding medication that works, being committed to following a good treatment plan and maintaining honest, direct and open communication with your healthcare providers takes time, energy and skill. And quite often lead down a road of disappointments that can at times make the whole situation seem hopeless, when despite your diagnoses there is still so much that medical science does not known. But this is only part of the picture. Living with illness affects every part of your life and every significant relationship you have. Despite the reality of close ties, many relationships fall on the way side in the face of an illness the don't understand, or an illness they are unwilling to accept for many reason.

The fact is, if you're living with chronic illness you do face it with courage whither you believe it or not. No matter how scared you are, face life's challenge. In the process of meeting life's challenges, you have learned and are continuing to learn how to meet your fears and move beyond them. Perhaps you don't think of yourself as particularly courageous or even confident. Maybe it's time to take a closer look. These four questions will help you do that.

1. What have you learned about yourself since you were diagnosed with a chronic illness?
2. What initially held you back from learning these things about yourself?
3. What did you learn from the times you felt most discouraged?
4. What will your legacy be to those who know and love you?

No one knows the journey you and your illness have taken better than you do, and no ones knows more than you, the challenges you've met and the wins you've achieved. Acknowledge and embrace them. Celebrate your courage.

Faith Healing

I'm not amazed at how many Christians believe our illnesses are the result of some sin we committed or not having enough faith. There was a time that I believed that the reason that God had not healed me was that I was to evil to be cured. In my less than rational mind, I knew that my illness  not possibly be caused by unconfused sins, because I had asked for forgiveness for past and future sins. It could not be because of lack of faith, because I had so much faith that God had healed me of my illness that I refused to allow the words: “I am sick.” In any way, shape, or form come out of my mouth.  As a result, I got very angry and my hubby each time he felt a need to call an ambulance when he found me lying on the bathroom floor, unable to get up. 

Between my own high expectations and my bodies refusal to be cured, I began to be drowned by deep depression I began to view death as the only way out of my misery. Considering myself to much of a coward to take my own life, I began to pray for death.

But I am not the only one that suffered from misconceptions concerning healing.

Joni Eareckson said, "[Jesus] once suffered, too. And because Jesus could turn His cross into a symbol of hope and freedom, can I do any less? My wheelchair is the prison God has used to set my spirit free!" (Joni's Story (brochure)

Tim Hansel wrote of his need to be healed: "He finally healed me of the need to be healed...I had discovered a peace inside the pain. I finally came to the realization that if the Lord could use this body better the way it is, then that's the way it should be" (You Gotta Keep Dancin', 123+124).

Glaphre Gilliland exclaimed, "I was whole! Inside I was healed. I sat in God-hushed stillness...and, oh...the peace!" (When the Pieces Don't Fit, 108)

Churches that believe lack of faith or for committing some kind of sins is a precursor to physical affliction are apparently not following what the Bible teaches us.

    Job 1:1 tells us that "In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil." Jesus, who had to face the pain of death on the cross was also sinless. Jesus was faith-filled and blameless. "In the Psalms we're told that God does not deal with us according to our sins and iniquities. My Chronic illness that has plagued me since I was a child was not punishment by God for something that I did wrong.

    The Bible does, however, have a lot to say on the subject of being for faith-healing. "...The prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up..." (James 5:15), and "Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick... and all of them were healed" (Acts 5:16) are just two of the verses that are supposed proof that Jesus will heal anyone who comes in faith. Proponents of faith-healing point out these verses and the "key word" they mention is "all" -- that "all" who came in faith were cured.

    However, there are also many verses that deal with pain and health problems as being normal for believers in God. Moses had a speech impediment, Solomon suffered from depression, Stephen was stoned to death, John the Baptist had his head hacked off, Jesus was hung on a cross. No doubt they all felt pain. Paul spoke of his problem (believed by many to be a physical disability) by saying "...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). 

Although , I will not deny that miracles do happen. Our relationship with Him is made stronger in our weakness.

God Always Heals


                          
And he said up to me, My grace is sufficient for thee: For My strength is mad perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
( II Corinthians 12:9)

     One of the most common question that plagues our minds when we find ourselves dealing with a chronic illness that won’t go away; “Do miracles of healing still happen or are they just something that we read about in the bible? “  You could ask me, after realizing the pain that I have gone through, while learning to dealing with my own illness; ” Do I believe that God HEALS?”  The answer is defiantly YES!  I believe more than ever that GOD ALWAYS HEALS .  I can say that honestly, despite that fact that I still suffer from the pain of  having a chronic illness. GOD ALWAYS HEALS!!! 

    The next question you could ask me is; “ How can I say   I have Crohn’s Disease, and still say that I have FAITH in God power to HEAL ?“   Many Christians, and I was one of them, have a mistaken conception concerning “ Healing”.  We all tend to  view Healing and Curing as the same thing. But they are not! Curing happens when a physical illness, or injury, gets measurable better. Healing , on the other hand ,is the process of becoming WHOLE!  In my study of people who are chronically ill, HEALING happens even when CURING is not possible. In fact, a person can be lying on their death bed, and still find God’s HEALING power in their life. How can this be?

     During  the healing process you reach a place of wholeness, of deep inner peace that passes all understanding.  From this heavenly place, inside your heart and mind,  you learn to deal with your illness with less fear and suffering. You face  your pain , with greater clarity and compassion for yourself. While curing is wonderful when it occurs, healing has a far more out reaching consequence.  Why? Because of the freedom it brings. The freedom from fear ! freedom to forgive others! freedom to love others! To love yourself! And to love God! Freedom to live “Life” to its fullest, even if your “Life” time on this earth is limited.
 
  Does this mean that we should not believe in the possibility that a miracle of curing will not happen? Does this mean that we should not expect a physical  manifestation of curing to enter our lives?  Unfortunately, in our  fascination with miraculous and sensational , we often fail to recognize the everyday miracles God engineers throughout our life time. Properly viewed, ever recovery from an illness or injury is a kind of “Divine Miracle”. The human body has an elaborate eternal system for fighting infections, repairing lacerated tissue, mending broken bones, and even repairing diseased tissue… As a result, in many cases of illness and injury the ability to be cured lies within our own body.

A matter of perspective

     I believe God always brings healing into our lives. Curing on the other hand is a matter of prospective. God can and sometimes does cure us through a sudden miracle . Or He can choose to cure us through a lengthy curing process. Or He may choose instead to give us His sufficient grace to endure a trial of illness that won’t go away. He may choose to use our illness and our ability to look upon it more positively, as a door way in order to help others.  People that are suffering the same kind of illness as we are, but are not dealing with it with any kind of grace. Or He may choose to cure us through deaths door.
What ever the form of curing God chooses to use, the choose is not really ours, despite what we have come to believe.

    When it comes to dealing with any chronic illness, we most first understand what true health is. This is the biblical definition of health Heal me , O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. ( Jeremiah 17:14)  Isaiah 53:5 tells us that Christ suffered and died to purchase our peace, peace with God , and peace with ourselves- and by His wounds we are healed. Ultimately true “Health” is being at peace God and peace with ourselves. 

    Therefore we are considered in true “health” if we are at peace with ourselves and with God. When we are in peace with God, we come to understand that we are healed-even in our trails, even in our pain, even in death itself. We can live well and die well, at peace with God and filled with the healing assurance of eternal life.

    Apostle  Paul , in the book of Romans, shared with us the ultimate form of healing that all Christian most face. I consider that our present suffering are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us…..We ourselves, who have the first fruit of the spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for the redemption of our bodies. 

( Romans 8:18,23) God wants us to be healed even if the means dying well.

Mysterious Human Body


Despite what you have come to believe, modern science still does not understand exactly know how the human body really works.  Because the human body continues to be a mystery, our doctors despite their best intentions, by the most part only have the knowledge of what they were taught in medical school to guide them. 

Failing to understand that our doctors’ knowledge is limited, many Christians and no Christians alike put their lives in the hands of men and women of medicine. And when their doctors fail to provide them with the help they so desperately need, then the lose trust in their health provider. Or they begin to look upon their own lives as black endless tunnel, in which there is no light to show the way out of their misery.
To understand the human body, you must begin by accepting the simple biblical truth which is often ignored. God created the human body, and instituted a law that governs all functions. The human body needs air to breath, water and food to sustain life, exercise for strengthen and endurance in order to face life’s challenges. Each organ has a district purpose, in order to keep the body functioning properly.

God created the human spirit and soul, and placed it with in the human body as care takers. With this truth in mind, we face the reality that any part of our body fails to operate as it should, then our body is made weak because of it. If we do not use the wisdom that God has given us to take care of our body, then we are doing our body a disservice and as result it will fail to work as it should.

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sow, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:7–9 ESV)

In other word, if we smoke, drink excessively; ignoring the fact that our body will become weakened by our own disregard for the body we live in. If we do not use wisdom in choosing the food we eat, or fail to feed our body by skipping meals, then our body will eventually be weaken by our disregard for its needs. If we do not take time off from work, get the proper amount of sleep, then our body will once again be weaken by our disregard for its needs.

There are many things that we do every day that can weaken the body. We place too much trust in the processed foods that we eat on a daily bases. We eat foods filled with preservative, dye and other harsh chemicals that our body was not designed to consume and wonder why we are in so much pain. We do not read labels on the processed food, to make sure that the foods are health for human consumption. And when we do read the label’s, we expect that the food will provide us with all the vitamins and minerals that our body requires to operate properly, and wonder why we are so stiff we can’t get out of bed in the morning.


"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body," (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

If our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, doesn’t it seem logical that we should do our best to take care of our body? With that is mind, doesn’t it seem logical that of we battle a chronic illness and pain, that we become the best doctor that our body needs. I am not saying that we cannot seek medical help, but that we should work as an active participant in our own recovery and treatment. This may very well mean that if our doctor fails to treat us with the respect and understanding we deserve, then we should seek out a medical doctor that will work as a team player. As well as seeking out a doctor that believes that diet and supplements play an essential part in the recovery processes. And not a doctor that deals with your health issues by simply writing out a prescription and hopes that it will help.

It is your body take charge of it!

God tells us, speaking through the apostle Paul, “I beseech you therefore, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:1–2.

The Simplicity of Faith

“occurred that Jesus entered a certain village, and a woman named Martha received and welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister names Mary, who seated herself at the Lord's feet and was listening to His teaching. But Martha [overly occupied and too busy] as distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord, is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me [to lend a hand and do her part along with me]! But the Lord replied to her saying, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and trouble about many things; there is need of only one or but a few things. Mary has chosen the good portion [that which is to her advantage], which shall not be taken away from her. “ (Luke 10:38-42 )

Many Christians are like Martha.. They spend all their Christian life trying to be the perfect Christian.

They work hard to obey church doctrines, attend church every Sunday, pay their tithes regularly and commit themselves to the pastors authority. The most important aspect of their Christian walk, is to they put on an outward appearance of being a strong self-sufficient Child of God, one of true faith and dedication to righteousness. Some Christians go as far as to keep such a close watch on the dark world around them, looking for all the signs of the Lord intimate return, listening to all the prophetic messages that proclaim doom and glum, that they can’t see the hand of the Lord moving in this world in a positive way, as His light begins to shine in the darkness.

But like Martha, most Christians are not motivated by any true love of the Lord or willingness to humble themselves before Him an sit at His feet and listen to His words of guidance and hope. They are moved by fear of losing their own salvation if they make one single mistake, like missing a church service, or getting sick. Or their actions of looking at the dark world so closely ,may be motivated by fear of losing their own salvation, if the Lord does not return soon. In other words, many Christians who’s beliefs and action are motivated like Martha, by anxiety, and worry.



The Simplicity of Faith

I believe that the Christian life should be a celebration. And yet too many believers don't even enjoy their Christian life, let alone celebrate it. Many people truly love Jesus Christ and are on their way to heaven, but very few are enjoying the trip. For many years I was one of those people … and so was Martha.

Martha was so busy doing what I used to do, running around trying to be perfect in order to impress God and every other person in the church. I complicated my relationship with the Lord because I had a legalistic approach to righteousness. I pursued many religious conception in order to improve my situations in life, and to prove myself as a Christian. I claimed God had healed me of my illness, keeping the truth of my pain and misery to myself, so that I would be viewed by the church as self-sufficient and a worthy person of value to the church and to God. I went to church every time the door was open, in order to win approval, even when I was so sick and in so much pain, I should have been in bed. All because it was vital to me that I be viewed as a women of faith and conviction. When every endeavor on my part to be accepted by others in the church failed, and I began to be verbally abused by the leadership of the church and by my so called brothers and sisters in the Lord, I began to resented people I viewed were exactly like Mary. Christians that seem to have no problem fitting into the church life with easy. Christians, by all out word appearance, that clearly to me had no problem doing everything that was required of the church, and were perfect Christians. While I on the other hand, never seemed to fit in, and was always on the receiving end of accusations. I had no conception of how deceived I really was.

My problem was that I was all Martha and no Mary. I loved Jesus, but I had not learned about the simple life He desired me to live. The answer, I discovered, was rooted in faith, an action on my part when discovered what it means to sit at the feet of Jesus, listen to His words, and trusting God with all of my heart and soul. It was at His knees that I learned to accept His unconditional LOVE for me

Only Jesus!

Jesus came to this world and paid for our sins, taking our punishment upon Himself. He became our substitute, paid the debt we owed, at no cost to us. He did all this freely because of His great love, grace, and mercy. He inherited all the Father has to give and tells us that we are joint-heirs with Him by virtue of our faith in His Love and sacrifice. He has provided the way for our complete victory both here and hereafter. We are more than conquerors. He has conquered, and we get the reward without the battle.

How much simpler could it be? The gospel is wonderfully uncomplicated. Complication is the work of the church who has failed to accepted this simple truth. A church filled with Christians that look upon God as a father with a big stick, just waiting for them to screw up so He can whack them. And in the process they have belittled and ignored the simple truth of the CROSS!

If you want to live a complicated, complex, joyless life, spend your time trying to do something that can't be done without God. Try to live in the shadows of other peoples opinions and beliefs, and your life will be filled with pain and disappointments.

Return to and celebrate the simplicity of your faith in Jesus alone! And in doing so walk with Him in the Light of Life !

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, " I am the light of the world.

He who fallows Me Shall not walk in the darkness, but will have the

light of life"( John 8:12)

The twelve spies

The twelve spies

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying send men to spy out the land of Canaan, which I am giving the children of Israel; from each tribe of their fathers you shall send a man, every one a leader among them…. So they went and spied out the land from the wilderness of Zin….And they returned from spying out the land after forty days…. ( Numbers 13-14)

As the rest of the story goes, all of the men that went in to the promised land, came back with a tail of a land that was filled with milk and honey. Caleb and Joshua, encouraged Moses to send the people on into the promise land. But the other ten spies warned Moses against it. They told him that the land belonged to a powerful people , giants men that they could not possible defeat. As a result, of this negative report the people cried out in fear, and begged Moses to turn away from the Promised land and choose another home land for the people to settle upon.

The simple truth was , that although all twelve spies saw the same blessings and the same obstacle, the ten spies saw the problems that laid ahead as to big for the people to over come, even with God help. While Joshua and Caleb saw the problems as an opportunities. In other words, the ten spies saw only the dark troubles ahead if they enter into the Promise Land. While Joshua and Caleb saw the light of God promises if they laid a head if they simple had faith in God

This lack of faith in God provision, caused the people to reject the promised gift from God and sent them on a journey through the wilderness that would last them 40 years. But Gods promise still laid before the people, and only after the death of many of the old generation that were still in bondage to the old ways, were the Israelites allowed to finally enter into the Promise Land. In the end the ten spies never entered the Promise land. On the other hand, Caleb and Joshua entered the promise land as leaders of the Israelites.

More often that we care to admit, there are some of us that tend to be problem-oriented people, and not solution -oriented. In other words, just like the ten spies and the majority of the Israelites, we tend to look at the problem that enter our lives as if they are giants that we can not possible overcome. In the process we become very negative and crucial people, people that then to look at the glass as half empty. If we are battling a chronic illness, we look at our illness not as a opportunity for change, but as the end of our lives as we know it. As a result, we are not entering the promise land of peace and joy that comes from a deep faith in God healing hands.

Living with chronic pain and illness myself, I have walked the dark path of fear ,of bitterness and resentment towards my doctors, towards myself, and towards God, because of this painful thorn in my flesh. I gained victory over my pain, by changing the directions of my thoughts. When I came to accept just as Apostle Paul eventually did, that Hs grace is sufficient, His light began to shine brightly on my pain.

As I began to focus on the Lord as an active light in my life, He opened a door for me and I began to gain that peace of spirit and soul that goes beyond understanding. Under the stress of fighting my pain in the darkness, the pain was so out of control that my doctor could not help me. I so was caught in the dark world of my own misery that I could not see the light. Once I stopped fighting my own body and began to relax and focus my attention on the Lord, His light began to envelope my whole life. In the process I learned that there were certain things that I could do to help relive my own pain ,and in the process my pain diminished to nothing more than a small achy reminder that my thorn is still there..

Living in the light has given me a whole new perspective of these end times. I see not a world of darkness filled with pain and hardships, all though I know it exist . Instead, I see a world of possibilities. I see God people rising up and becoming the light in the darkness. I see people walking not away from the church ( the true Church of God the Body of Christ) but embracing it and leaning to walk in the light as they begin to walk in a closure relationship with the Lord. I see people from all walks of life, from all around the world and every race and nationality , reaching out and touching the life of others , with the Light the flows through them as a river of life.

Walking in the light is a matter a choice. But as long as you are focusing all you thoughts on the darkness that is all you will every see!!!!

Soothing the emotional savage beast

Living with any chronic illness can rage a war on our emotions. The ups and downs of dealing with pain and misery, can play havoc with our emotions. The frustration and disappointments that come from dealing with doctors that would just as soon send us to a psychiatrist rather than deal constructively with our illness, can and often does make us feel frustrated, angry, confused and often depressed. The frustrations of deal with medication that fails to work, and having to face the reality of an unknown future, can leave us battling with anger towards our own body that has fails us at every turn and is keeping us from doing the things that we once took pleasure in doing. To make things even worse, we have to deal with people!!!!!

Some people , including our own family members, never make any endeavor to understand how we feel. Or even to take the time to know who we are as a person, but that does not stop them from being critical and condemning. On the other hand, those that do try, even our own spouses, tend to either treat us as small children, or like invalids. Personally, one thing that causes me the most stress in this never ending battle with a chronic illness and pain , is from my husband . He can be loving and compassionate on minute and Jackass that next…I truly believe what is said about men; “ They are the only species of jackass that does not grow a tail!” But his worse and best virtue has been his willingness to take care of me, even if I don’t want him to. The stress of his trying to do everything for me, can cause me to want to run and hide. Or at the very least I long to scream at him to stop treating me like some fragile women that will brake if she is not careful. So I bruise easy, and I fall down a lot, but I have not broken anything yet, and bruises heal. But instead of trying to comfort me in my pain due to a fall, he yells at me and calls me name’s that I don’t care to repeat.

Okay! So my husband can be a Jackass! I don’t really believe that is going to change, simple because he loves me and cares for my well being, even when he is yelling at me to be more careful, his concern is genuine. So if his way of handling my pain is not going to change, then I am going to have to learn to deal with it with out allowing my feelings to get hurt, or at the least get stressed over his way of showing concern

I realize that not ever spouse tries to understand, but each has their own way of dealing with the emotional stress they too are feeling as they try to figure out the best way to handle our health issues. Health issues that are effecting their lives as well as our own.

Our physical reaction to our emotional upheaval


Emotional stress as we all have experienced can make our pain worse. During angry and stressful emotional moments , our muscles begin to stiffen and our pain worsens under the stress. For those with our with out intestinal issues, being upset can throw off our diet and leave us with no desire to eat at all, which can cause a whole lot of other problems. Yelling and screaming out our frustrations can lead to excess acids being accumulates in our stomach causing cramps and nausea. Keeping our feelings inside and never allowing them to be dealt with constructively , can lead to our developing ulcers.

One thing is for sure, we don’t need to battle our emotions on top of our illness and pain. Instead, we need to learn to express them and deal with them in a constructive way. We could of course, go to the psychiatrist the doctor suggested. We could choose to lock ourselves away from stressful situations and people. Personally I choose to calm my emotional beast with music.

Music has the power to do either invigorate you, depress you more, or calm your spirit and soul. Country music that talks about lost love tends to make me depressed, old time rock can boost my energy levels. Soft music soothes the soul and allows a calmness of spirit. And it does not have to be Christian in nature to bring me peace. I start my day with soft music that fallows my every day activity. My family tease me for what the call my elevator music that fallows them from room to room. But they also realize that it does help.

Try music when your savage beast is our of control and see if it does not help .

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